The Difficulties of a Life Lived on the Rocks

I've learned a lot of things since I started college. Not things that you'd expect, either. Little things, that I KNOW will be of use to me later in life (I'm sorry, but I'm confident that I will NEVER have to have a comprehensive knowledge of cathedral...ic architecture). Here's a quick rundown (inspired by my good friend Emma, from England):
1. Keep me away from fish tanks.
2. I have a knack for getting into situations in which I must explain awkward things to Asians.
3. The lack of space between the "i" and "o" keys can be your worst enemy.
4. Subsequently, no matter HOW MANY TIMES you proofread a paper, you will always miss one typo.
5. That typo will usually be typing "thong" instead of "thing."
6. Some pranks go unappreciated and make people furious. These are the best kind.
7. Trolling internet whores is a MUCH more worthwhile pursuit than studying.
8. There are tunnels under the buildings. Cereally.
9. Accidentally switching to lolcat speak in class is only slightly less embarrassing that accidentally calling a professor mom/dad.
10. English professors have turnitin.com installed in their brains.
11. All you needed to be a distinguished American writer in the colonial times is unique facial hair.
12. Mr. Buckner was right, a college student will do ANYTHING to get a free T-shirt.
13. Colleges should give out free socks/underwear instead. we all have too many T-shirts already.
14. A real friend is NOT the one who will buy you beer, pot or porn. A real friend is the one who will pay for your laundry.
15. ????
16. PROFIT!