Tuesday, February 17, 2009

There comes a time in every woman's life...

I will not be my mother. I will not allow my daughter or daughters to go through life having to learn things about themselves by themselves and from their friends.

This was the extent of womanly wisdom I got from my mom:
a. you bleed each month because you produce an egg which is half of a baby but won't become a baby until your husband's sperm fertilises it and since it won't be, your body throws it away.
>Congrats, you're biologically mature, here's some pads and there's Advil in the cabinet.
b. Wash yourself at least every other day. At the least.

Problems with a.
I understood the basest of explanations of the process and that was it. I don't think my mother really understood it either or bothered to learn. We took health first semester freshman year of high school, and she asked me if I had learned what a certain part of the bleeding was all about. Turns out it was the uterine lining. "Ah," she said. "That would make sense then."

I never understood how she could be satisfied only knowing that it happened each month and why and how to not bleed on your pants. I wanted to know everything. But somehow I think I knew she didn't know much more than she told me.

Problems with b.

i.e., I have learned that you should not wash your coochiesnorcher with soap. I learned it the hard way. By going completely itchy for a day after washing there with soap. You rinse, is what I learned afterwards. Rinse and wash with your hands, but don't use soap. To paraphrase from the Vagina Monologues, it ain't a garden! It's supposed to smell like that!

Point C. Gynecologists. I had no idea you were supposed to see them before you became sexually active. I still need to get that set up for self. That's a good idea. Mom never really bothered to talk about them. I think I'm going to have to ask when girls should start going. It'd be really great to know everything's going good down thar.

Also, douches are harmful. Mom never told me about that. I didn't know the word existed until the fifth grade guys started calling each other douchebags. >< And thinking they were cool.

I also think that part of my problem is I'm never satisfied until I know the complete why's and how's of how stuff works of the stuff I want to know how it works. And I'm pretty sure my kids are gonna be the same way.

I'm not going to be unapproachable like my mother was with this. I can't be a Grey's Anatomy either, though. But at least I can be knowledgeable and approachable.

OH! And since I'm no longer Catholic and believe masturbation is healthy... that's not going to be a touchy subject either. Policy will be, go ahead, just be clean and safe about it, don't use vegetables, and don't do it with other people around. XD

I don't want them to look back on this and hate me for forcing them to find out on their own. I don't want them to look back and go, "Jesus, Mom, what the fuck? You could have told me all this shit and saved me some face and some mistakes!"

I'm not ever going to say that to my mom, because I know if I do, she's going to realise how much she hurt me by letting me go uneducated, and she's going to feel terrible. But I just wanted to throw out there... that I'm not letting my girl(s) go through that. : ) Ever.

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